Friday, 11 July 2014
Monday, 7 July 2014
Large Family Logisitics - Finding Time For Each Child
"How do you find time for each child?"
I get this question a lot. There's really no way to reply in 10 words or less, so I usually smile and say, "It's not easy!"
Let me share what we do and what feels successful to us right now.
I'm not saying stop everything we're doing and give 100% of our time to our children from now on and lose our identity in meeting their every need. Quite the opposite...kids benefit from an interesting, confident, and multi-faceted parent. I am suggesting we involve our children in the different aspects of who we are, our interests, our work, and our favourite things and bring them with us on our journey in personal development.
1. Incorporate your children in your daily rituals. My kids are part of who I am and what I do every day. They know my thoughts, my work, my hobbies and interests because they do them with me. We interact as part of our daily rituals like getting the mail, cooking, and cleaning. Its tricky if you are not the primary care giver, the child goes to daycare, or you have a nanny but it can be done.
2. Find interests that you and your child both genuinely enjoy. Do them on an on-going basis. For toddlers, this can be as simple as a stroller ride every Monday morning to the corner store to get drinks. My husband used to play card games with his friends before we were married. Now he plays with the teenagers every Saturday night, and everyone loves it. They never run out of things to talk about. My kids like to help me with the photography and production of this blog. We're learning together.
3. Be available to listen to your child as much as humanly possible. I know way more about Pokémon than any adult female should. Boys who love to talk to their Mom grow up to be men who love to talk to their Moms. I hope my boys and girls always love to talk to their Mom. I have to focus really hard sometimes to not do the mindless, "Uh-huh", but to ask questions as their talking. After a good conversation, I can sense my child walks away with a satisfied feeling of just having got everything off their chest, and usually an excitement to move on to the next thing. I don't even provide solutions necessarily, just a listening ear.
4. Provide attention before they seek it. Give sincere, thoughtful compliments verbally or written so they can refer to it any time they need to. A backrub, hand massage, or a special ice cream run for just the two of you makes a kiddo feel cherished. I prefer these to be spontaneous. When these events are scheduled, they seem forced, and completely against the point. Look for these opportunities and take them! I like this method, too, because I can do it when its convenient for me.
5. Write down what they tell you. Remember who and what is important to them, their fears, concerns, and ask them about them. Never divulge their secrets. Keep their confidence just like you would any other friend. Now when you have a moment, you can ask the child about it.
6. Be involved in their education. Reading to them or going over homework together is great one-on-one time that shows them how important education is to you. With the older kids, we like to read a book, then go see the movie. It gives us a lot to talk about, whether we agree with actions the hero or villain took, what we would have done instead, or how could they have handled things differently.
7. Serve your child with love. Doing things FOR your child can bring you closer. Whenever the weather is poor, I surprise my kids by picking them up from school. This simple act means a lot to them, as they have told me many times.
8. Remove your digital distractions. Keep TV, video games, phones, iPods, etc. to a healthy level. Remember you'll need human connections in order to achieve your goals.
9. Set goals together. Discuss your expectations for your child with them, and ask their expectations of themselves. Goals like college, saving for a large item, or achieving their best at sports or school can let the child know you are their greatest supporter and that their life-long goals are reachable with you on their side.
Finding time for each child can be difficult in a large family, but a lot of the above items can be done when you have time or during other activities.
What are your tricks to finding time for each child?
What goals have you set with your kiddos?
I get this question a lot. There's really no way to reply in 10 words or less, so I usually smile and say, "It's not easy!"
Let me share what we do and what feels successful to us right now.
If you're looking for ways to find more quality time for your child, I suggest making a list of goals for you and your child so that the time you spend together is as meaningful as possible.
What is it you are trying to achieve?
What message do you want your child to get?
What feelings do you want your child to walk away with?
What activity can be done to accomplish this?
What activity can be done to accomplish this?
Here are mine.
* I want my child to know they are loved by me and they're a valuable part of a supportive family.
* I want to give them regular focused, positive attention.
* I want to do age appropriate activities that will draw us closer together and develop life skills that lead to their independence.
* I want to teach them choices to avoid and which choices will lead them ultimately to happiness, please Heavenly Father, and bring them success.
* I want an established trust in me, Dad, and the Lord so when tough times come along, my child will know what source they can turn to for peace.
When I look at these goals, I realize that in order to accomplish this, it's going to take a lot more than just 'scheduling my child in' and 'weekend date nights' aren't going to cut it. If that is all you have to work with, then you do the best with what you can. Persistent, life-long commitments to each kiddo are going to be required. I've got to be devoted. I've got to Un-Busy myself.I'm not saying stop everything we're doing and give 100% of our time to our children from now on and lose our identity in meeting their every need. Quite the opposite...kids benefit from an interesting, confident, and multi-faceted parent. I am suggesting we involve our children in the different aspects of who we are, our interests, our work, and our favourite things and bring them with us on our journey in personal development.
1. Incorporate your children in your daily rituals. My kids are part of who I am and what I do every day. They know my thoughts, my work, my hobbies and interests because they do them with me. We interact as part of our daily rituals like getting the mail, cooking, and cleaning. Its tricky if you are not the primary care giver, the child goes to daycare, or you have a nanny but it can be done.
2. Find interests that you and your child both genuinely enjoy. Do them on an on-going basis. For toddlers, this can be as simple as a stroller ride every Monday morning to the corner store to get drinks. My husband used to play card games with his friends before we were married. Now he plays with the teenagers every Saturday night, and everyone loves it. They never run out of things to talk about. My kids like to help me with the photography and production of this blog. We're learning together.
3. Be available to listen to your child as much as humanly possible. I know way more about Pokémon than any adult female should. Boys who love to talk to their Mom grow up to be men who love to talk to their Moms. I hope my boys and girls always love to talk to their Mom. I have to focus really hard sometimes to not do the mindless, "Uh-huh", but to ask questions as their talking. After a good conversation, I can sense my child walks away with a satisfied feeling of just having got everything off their chest, and usually an excitement to move on to the next thing. I don't even provide solutions necessarily, just a listening ear.
4. Provide attention before they seek it. Give sincere, thoughtful compliments verbally or written so they can refer to it any time they need to. A backrub, hand massage, or a special ice cream run for just the two of you makes a kiddo feel cherished. I prefer these to be spontaneous. When these events are scheduled, they seem forced, and completely against the point. Look for these opportunities and take them! I like this method, too, because I can do it when its convenient for me.
5. Write down what they tell you. Remember who and what is important to them, their fears, concerns, and ask them about them. Never divulge their secrets. Keep their confidence just like you would any other friend. Now when you have a moment, you can ask the child about it.
6. Be involved in their education. Reading to them or going over homework together is great one-on-one time that shows them how important education is to you. With the older kids, we like to read a book, then go see the movie. It gives us a lot to talk about, whether we agree with actions the hero or villain took, what we would have done instead, or how could they have handled things differently.
7. Serve your child with love. Doing things FOR your child can bring you closer. Whenever the weather is poor, I surprise my kids by picking them up from school. This simple act means a lot to them, as they have told me many times.
8. Remove your digital distractions. Keep TV, video games, phones, iPods, etc. to a healthy level. Remember you'll need human connections in order to achieve your goals.
9. Set goals together. Discuss your expectations for your child with them, and ask their expectations of themselves. Goals like college, saving for a large item, or achieving their best at sports or school can let the child know you are their greatest supporter and that their life-long goals are reachable with you on their side.
Finding time for each child can be difficult in a large family, but a lot of the above items can be done when you have time or during other activities.
What are your tricks to finding time for each child?
What goals have you set with your kiddos?
Saturday, 5 July 2014
Thursday, 3 July 2014
Large Family Logistics - Clean Dinners under $12 - Curried Lentil Soup
Curried Lentil Soup has been an Anderson favourite for almost a decade now. When I tried it the first time, I was actually just making it for myself, I didn't think anyone in the family would eat it. I ended up not getting any because they loved it so much and this recipe is THAT good.
Now we serve it with Naan flatbread, or serve it over jasmine rice on Day 2 when it has thickened up.
This is one of the least expensive meals I make, often costing less than $5 if the pantry is well-stocked. Not pictured, garlic, bell pepper, and stock.
You can use the crockpot for this recipe. High for 4 hours, Low for 6 hours. Stop peeking! Its not done yet.
Curried Lentil Soup
WARNING: Serves 10-12, recipe can be halved
1 yellow onion, chopped
- In large pot, sauté the onions, peppers, celery, and carrots in a little olive oil for about 5 minutes. Add garlic, sauté 30 seconds.
- Add the rest of the ingredients. Bring to a boil for a few minutes then simmer until the lentils and potatoes are soft. (My lentils have never taken longer than 20 minutes to cook)
- Puree half the soup in a food processor or blender. Return the pureed soup to the pot, stir and enjoy!
Monday, 30 June 2014
Large Family Logistics - Clean Dinners under $12 - Crock Pot Beef Vegetable Stew
NZ Beef is $16.99/kg, not the most frugal thing on the planet. Beef Stew is a great way to use beef and stick to my goal of $12 per dinner or $1 per person. I split this beautiful pack and froze half for another meal, so I only spent $5 on beef in this recipe. That left $2 for the tomato sauce/juice, and $5 for the vegetables.
Crock Pot Beef Vegetable Stew
WARNING: Serves 10-12, recipe can be halved
2 medium onions, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
2 cups celery, sliced
2 cups carrots, sliced
2 cups sweet potato, diced
1 cup green beans, cut into 1 inch pieces
1 cup frozen corn
.3 to .5 kg beef, diced (about 1 1/2 cups)
1/2 cup fresh parsley, minced
2 cups pasta cooking sauce or tomato puree or tomato juice
4 cups beef stock
Salt, pepper, cayenne, to taste
Place all items into a large crock pot/slow cooker. You may need to add extra beef stock if the liquid doesn't fully cover the vegetables. Set crock pot to Low for 8 hours, or High for 5 hours.
Shopping in New Zealand - The Veg Shop
Almost every corner has a bakery, dairy, butcher, chemist, and take out. No one-stop shopping here! These tiny markets have most of what you need within walking distance.
You will not find a Target or Wal-Mart. There are a few stores like The Warehouse (similar to a Big Lots! or a mini Wal-mart) and PaknSave (I call it Food4less, because that is exactly what it looks like)
Here is our favorite veg shop, Simply Fresh.
Many stores keep banking hours. Even the mall closes at 6PM Monday through Thursdays. Need something on a holiday? Forget it, everything is likely to be CLOSED.
Still, I find the smaller shops charming. I have a favorite baker, dairy, butcher, and fish and chips spot. I know all the owners, and they know our family, so when I send a kid on an errand for me, the shop keeper knows what I need. 
You'll notice some things are cheaper in New Zealand. Our prices swing wildly depending on what season we're in. My favourite example is courgettes (zucchini) in winter is $29.99/kg, then $1.99/kg in season.
1 Kilogram = 2.2 lbs
These are Kumara, similar to sweet potatoes. I'm not sure if they're specific to New Zealand, but you probably won't find them in the States. They're AMAZING roasted. Hey, that's a great price for avocadoes!
Sunday, 15 June 2014
Large Family Logistics - The Ultimate Mom Bag (aka Diaper Bag)
In the early years of being a mother, I carried a pretty hefty diaper bag. It was back breaking, and I found I wasn't using a lot of the stuff I packed and lugged around continually. I began to think it was unnecessary and I needed to lighten the load.
This lead to an evolving thinning of my diaper bag for when I had my third, and even up until having my eighth. My diaper bag had been reduced to a small purse for my wallet, keys, and a spare diaper.
The downside of this method is you may need to run home for missing items, and possibly an embarrassing moment of having to borrow something from another mom.
My evolution has come full circle. I simply don't have time to run home or miss anything. Its time for a complete diaper bag make-over. I'm calling it the Ultimate Mom bag. Its got everything. Do I carry this thing around with me all the time? Yes and No. Sometimes it just stays in the car, but its always close by. I've separated the list into age groups if you want only supplies for certain ages, but for a mom with the whole spread of kids, this bag will not let you down!
How To Prepare the Ultimate Mom Bag
The First Year
Diapers
Wipes
Petroleum Jelly/A & D Ointment/Butt Paste
Onesie
Sleeper with feet
Bibs
Burp Cloth
Receiving Blanket
Teether Toy
Small rolled blanket
Canned Formula OR Water Bottle and Baby Bottle with measured powder formula inside
OR Breast Pads and Nursing Cover
Pacifier
Diaper Changing Pad
Non-perishable snacks
Infant Tylenol and dropper
Little Noses with aspirator
Thermometer
Infant nail clipper
Plastic bag for wet clothes
Diaper sacks for soiled diapers
Copies of Immunizations
Socks
Beanie
For Mom
Sunglasses
Extra set of house and car keys
Wallet
Cell phone with car charger
Kindle (when waiting for kids)
Lip balm
Travel lotion
Make up essentials
Non-perishable snack
Hair Brush
Bobby Pins and Elastics
Pads and Tampon
Hat
Ibuprofen
Water Bottle
Gum or breath mints
Emergency Cash
Hand Sanitizer
For Everyone
Umbrella or poncho
Sun Cream
Insect Repellent
Basic First Aid (Bandaids, ointment, hot/cold packs)
Allergy medication
Nail Care Kit
Toilet Paper or Facial Tissues (for nose bleeds)
Q- tips and cotton balls
Scissors
Bleach Pen
The Second Year Through Preschool
Training Pants or Underwear
Extra Clothing
Snacks
Wipes
Picture Book
Toys (crayons and tiny notebook)
Gender Neutral Flip-Flops (for when they forget or lose shoes)
Hair clips, elastics, brush for girls
Combs and hair gel for boys
Children's Tylenol
Copies of Immunizations
Ages 5-18
Emergency Bag of Smarties or lollies (for sharing with the class/team)
Watch and/or cell phone
Extra set of car, house, bike, and locker keys
Pens, Pencils, Calculator
Lunch money/Bus money
Deodorant
Water Bottle
Hat
Pads and tampon
Hair brush and accessories
Basic make up
Gender neutral sport shorts (black or navy)
Gender neutral black flip flops to avoid shoe crises
Back up extra-curricular necessities (mini towel, violin rosin, guitar picks, mouth guards, shin guards, sports socks, etc.)
Does all this fit in a single bag? It does!
This lead to an evolving thinning of my diaper bag for when I had my third, and even up until having my eighth. My diaper bag had been reduced to a small purse for my wallet, keys, and a spare diaper.
The downside of this method is you may need to run home for missing items, and possibly an embarrassing moment of having to borrow something from another mom.
My evolution has come full circle. I simply don't have time to run home or miss anything. Its time for a complete diaper bag make-over. I'm calling it the Ultimate Mom bag. Its got everything. Do I carry this thing around with me all the time? Yes and No. Sometimes it just stays in the car, but its always close by. I've separated the list into age groups if you want only supplies for certain ages, but for a mom with the whole spread of kids, this bag will not let you down!
How To Prepare the Ultimate Mom Bag
The First Year
Diapers
Wipes
Petroleum Jelly/A & D Ointment/Butt Paste
Onesie
Sleeper with feet
Bibs
Burp Cloth
Receiving Blanket
Teether Toy
Small rolled blanket
Canned Formula OR Water Bottle and Baby Bottle with measured powder formula inside
OR Breast Pads and Nursing Cover
Pacifier
Diaper Changing Pad
Non-perishable snacks
Infant Tylenol and dropper
Little Noses with aspirator
Thermometer
Infant nail clipper
Plastic bag for wet clothes
Diaper sacks for soiled diapers
Copies of Immunizations
Socks
Beanie
For Mom
Sunglasses
Extra set of house and car keys
Wallet
Cell phone with car charger
Kindle (when waiting for kids)
Lip balm
Travel lotion
Make up essentials
Non-perishable snack
Hair Brush
Bobby Pins and Elastics
Pads and Tampon
Hat
Ibuprofen
Water Bottle
Gum or breath mints
Emergency Cash
Hand Sanitizer
For Everyone
Umbrella or poncho
Sun Cream
Insect Repellent
Basic First Aid (Bandaids, ointment, hot/cold packs)
Allergy medication
Nail Care Kit
Toilet Paper or Facial Tissues (for nose bleeds)
Q- tips and cotton balls
Scissors
Bleach Pen
The Second Year Through Preschool
Training Pants or Underwear
Extra Clothing
Snacks
Wipes
Picture Book
Toys (crayons and tiny notebook)
Gender Neutral Flip-Flops (for when they forget or lose shoes)
Hair clips, elastics, brush for girls
Combs and hair gel for boys
Children's Tylenol
Copies of Immunizations
Ages 5-18
Emergency Bag of Smarties or lollies (for sharing with the class/team)
Watch and/or cell phone
Extra set of car, house, bike, and locker keys
Pens, Pencils, Calculator
Lunch money/Bus money
Deodorant
Water Bottle
Hat
Pads and tampon
Hair brush and accessories
Basic make up
Gender neutral sport shorts (black or navy)
Gender neutral black flip flops to avoid shoe crises
Back up extra-curricular necessities (mini towel, violin rosin, guitar picks, mouth guards, shin guards, sports socks, etc.)
Does all this fit in a single bag? It does!
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