Large Family Logistics - How Do You Afford All Those Kids? 6 Ways We Provide For Our Large Family On One Income - Reader's Question Answered

Large family living is a strange concept for some, especially when it comes to money.  I get a lot of questions about our finances, what my husband does for a living, whether or not we are on government assistance, and how we manage to live on one income.  People often make assumptions about us that range from "Wow you must be really rich!" to "Wow you must be really poor!", and neither of these statements are true.   We're just DIFFERENT.  Let me show 6 Ways We Provide for Our Large Family On One Income.

We have taken advantage of the practical skills we have learned through our church, our parents, and through our own personal study.  My husband and I made our college education a priority for each of us, he has a Master's degree in Computer Science and I am a Registered Nurse, though I do not work currently.  His education has allowed him to get a job to support a growing family, and I use what I've learned at home to care for my family and keep our medical expenses low.  All these factors contribute to our ability to provide for the family and need to be mentioned.

6 Ways We Provide For Our Large Family On One Income

1.  We Don't Spend Too Much On Housing
Housing is by far the largest expense for most families, and saving on housing is a dramatic way to increase the disposable income left over each pay check.  I did some research and found these facts from NZ Government Statistics:

• the bulk of New Zealand households spend 25-40% of their income on housing (Americans spend even more, more out of choice than requirement, depending on the region)
• our family spends 18% of our income on housing, about half of the social norm

The result is we look poorer than we are and maybe live in an area that might be below our income's standards.  We do NOT have a large home.  There are 11 of us in approximately 1300 square ft.  That's 4 bedrooms/2 bathrooms.  We're cool with this, though.  The sacrifice is temporary while we're focusing on raising our family.  *Added bonus, the desire to keep up with your neighbours is reduced when they have less than you.

 

2.  We Do Not Drive Flashy Cars
To avoid debt, we've paid cash for our cars OR bought cars that we can pay off painlessly within one year.  There have been periods of time when we have only had one car for all 11 of us, having to take 2 trips while we saved up for the second vehicle.  Yes, it was a little embarrassing and cumbersome, but our family is free of financial strain, and that makes for a happy home.  My husband saves a significant amount money each week by taking the bus into the city.  He has a 20 minute walk each way, but he finds it invigorating.

• let other people pay interest on an auto loan, its not for us
• older cars cost less to insure and make great cars for teenage drivers
• public transportation is a beautiful thing

3.  We Cook From Scratch
A trip to McDonald's for Combo Meals and Happy Meals would cost my family $83, but only if no one upgraded anything.  I guarantee they'd all be hungry in an hour.  I can make my Spicy Ranch Burgers and Rosemary Roasted Potatoes for under $20, and that would include rolls, a green salad, and dessert.  With a little ingenuity, we spend less on food per person than many of our 'small' family friends.

• when we splurge for fast food, we get $1 drinks or $ .70 ice cream cones
• dinners are selected from a list of meals I've priced to cost $12 or under
• kids and husband typically take home-prepared lunches
• we practice many cooking techniques to save on convenience foods like tortillas, breads, pasta, sauces, yogurt, and curries
• we don't have expensive habits like coffee, alcohol, or smoking

4.  We Are OK With Second Hand Clothing and Furniture
Some readers might squirm at the thought of having stuff that has been used by someone else, and I confess I struggle with this still on occasion in some categories.  For a large family on a budget, second hand is just a part of life.  Over the last 20 years I have evolved from believing it was shameful, to thinking 'hey this makes sense', to 'wow, what else can we get second hand?' 

Most of my friends and family know we are OK with second hand items, and like to use us as a dumping ground for their old things.  The understanding is we will go through their stuff, take what we want, and pass what we don't want on to someone else. 

• we reuse, repurpose, recycle and we're PROUD OF IT
• we sanitize everything (a $5 box of Legos from the second hand store scrubbed with a brush and soaked in bleach water over night looks EXACTLY like new ones)
• we've been known to have a lot of fun with the kids redoing furniture and making it look new again
• we've got standards.  I won't tolerate clothing or items that are dingy, stained, or ripped and know when to say "This item is no longer good enough for us".  I'm a lot more lenient on toddler clothing and play clothes, but large families need to look nice, too. 

5.  We Use Out-dated Technology and Entertainment
Have you ever noticed how quickly the value of electronics plummets as soon as the newer version is released?  We cling to the older versions and buy used games, used consoles, and I believe our laptop is a display model.  Our home phone has a cord.  Our cellular phones are pay-as-you-go and bottom of the line. We do splurge on gifts, so we do have the occasional cool gadget, but for the most part we are a good decade behind our friends.

• our movies and music are electronically purchased on Xbox Live, Netflix, and iTunes so they can be seen over and over again, and best of all, won't get lost or ruined.  We do not frequent the cinema unless its the- movie- we've- all- been- waiting- for.
• our books are all electronic on a family shared Kindle account, then we have a few family tablets to split between us all
• we don't do the library or video stores.  For some reason, we are cursed and cannot return them on time and in one piece

A rare splurge for the Avengers movie.  The cheeky grin is priceless  :)

6.  We Prepare For Financial Storms Before They Hit
Rarely do people go through this life and experience perpetual prosperity.  Storms are bound to hit, and the question is 'when' and not 'if' these storms will occur.  When trouble hits a large family, the fall is hard and recovery is long.  Prevention is our responsibility, and we take it seriously.  Here's a list of our favourite ways to prepare and sleep at night with a peace of mind that our little ones' needs will be met.

• have an emergency savings
• store food, water, fuel, and supplies
• have a network of professionals in your field who can help you find work
• develop DIY talents like gardening, sewing, animal husbandry, and home repair
• life insurance, living wills, retirement savings, and owning land are good things

Raising a large family on one income is a challenge, but with some old-fashioned tricks and self-restraint, it can be done.  We don't feel like we're missing out on anything.  In fact, my kids have told me they'd much rather have our happy family than all the gifts in the world.

"A fool and his money are easily parted." -Benjamin Franklin


Do you live on one income?
Are you willing to shop second hand?
What luxuries are you NOT willing to part with?

Large Family Logistics - 7 Baby Steps Toward a Whole Foods Diet

We want to move toward a whole foods diet.  With a stubborn family like mine, change is slow.  I've come up with 7 Baby Steps toward our goal and maybe they can help you, too. 

image courtesy www.wellandgoodnyc.com

WHY WHOLE FOODS?

Our religion advises us to eat a diet based on whole grains, vegetables, and fruits, and to eat meat sparingly.  We avoid tobacco, alcohol, coffee and caffeinated teas.  I try to stay up-to-date on nutritional studies to know exactly what foods I should be feeding my large family and teach healthy habits to the best of my ability and budget.  A diet of whole foods is true to my current research and beliefs. 

I see how marketing and convenience foods have deceived us in thinking we're eating healthy.  Our current diet is mostly empty calories, high in fat, sugar, and processed everything.  We've got to get back to more plant foods, basic grains and MODERATION of grass-fed, hormone free meat and dairy.

I love the advice given by Tosca Reno in her book The Clean Diet and I listen whole heartedly to Robyn at  www.GreenSmoothieGirl.com.  Both are women who I feel get nutrition right.

WHY NOT BECOME VEGETARIANS?

Can a family be raised without animal products?  Probably, but I would also be dealing with total anarchy from certain members of my family I love who delight in meat and dairy, and above all .... we want harmony in the home. 

So, how do I get from where we are to where we want to be?

Baby Steps Toward a Whole Foods Diet

1. The beverages we drink.  Drinking water instead of sugar drinks and colas will make the biggest impact on our health, so I started with it.  We bought 4 glass carafes for the refrigerator for the family to share.  They're beautiful, so its very inviting to drink.  Decide how best to filter water, and buy a new personal water bottle to encourage water intake, preferably made of glass or metal to avoid the chemicals that come with plastics.

• Drink 8 cups of filtered water daily
• Drink herbal teas instead of coffee and cola
• Read about kombucha and apple cider vinegar and consider adding to the daily regimen 

image courtesy of www.wineware.co.uk


2.  Increase the vegetables we eat.  The goal is to have vegetables be the base of the food pyramid.  If you're having a hard time getting the kids to eat their veggies, see my previous post here.  Even loving veggies, we still have a long way to go before veggies are the foundation of our meals.

image courtesy of www.topfoodfacts.com

• Start each day with a green smoothie.  (1 bunch of spinach, 1 bunch of kale, 2 cups water, and 3 fruit of choice) According to GreenSmoothieGirl.com, aim for 1 quart of green smoothie daily
• Buy organic when practical
• Avoid white potatoes, corn, and other starchy vegetables
• Soups, salads, and sandwiches are usually great meals to stuff with more veggies

3.  Change the grains we eat.  Plain white bread, boxed cereals, and white pasta bags are the norm in my pantry right now.  We love white sushi rice and white flour.  My plan of attack for changing to whole grains is going to need to be aggressive.

• Substitute brown rice for white
• Buy whole grain rolled or steel-cut oats instead of instant porridge
• Try a new grain like buckwheat, quinoa, bulgur, millet, barley, or farro
• Move to whole grain breads, crackers, and pastas
• Slowly phase out store bought products and baked goods entirely as you find whole grain recipes you enjoy

4. Change the fats we eat.  The word on the street is that real butter is healthier than margarine, and if we can find organic, grass fed butters, ....even better.  Coconut, olive, and flax oils are known to be better for us than butter and have their own unique nutritional benefits.  Vegetable oils are to be avoided.  Dr. Weil, who I trust immensely, still believes canola oil is good for the body, though other sources conflict.  I'll leave that up for each individual to decide.  Choose a fat that will improve on what the family currently uses and try it this week. 

Let's consider the AMOUNT of fats we consume.  Consider the possibility of replacing oil with applesauce in baking, or using non-stick pans to avoid frying in oils.  In some recipes, using half of the butter or oil doesn't affect the taste or outcome of the recipe at all, but over time will make a difference in health.

• Buy real butter (organic, grass-fed if possible)
• Upgrade to a healthier oil like coconut, olive, or flax oil
• Toss the vegetable oils and refuse to buy them again
• Choose recipes that call for less fats or make substitutions

image courtesy www.foodlve.com

5.  Change the sweets we eat.  High fructose corn syrup (found in almost every product on grocery store shelves) causes disease.  Refined sugars used in our baked goods they're now saying is not meant for human consumption because of the way it affects our blood sugar and causes inflammation, and in turn, causes disease.  Honey, real maple syrup, and molasses raise our blood sugar, too, however they are natural and have nutritional and immunity perks.  I don't know a lot about agave nectar, other than its super sweet and I don't care for it.  Stevia is a natural herbal sweetener that doesn't affect your blood sugar, and is superior to all the other mentioned sweeteners.  Artificial sweeteners are BAD for us, and should be avoided at all costs.

• Read the labels of store products and search for undesirable sugars and sugar substitutes
• Buy honey, molasses, maple, and stevia for family use
• Limit refined sugars to special occasions, or not at all

6.  Look at the dairy products we eat.  Even though everyone in the family is free of milk allergies and loves dairy, I have gone without diary temporarily during cleanses or dieting and was surprised at the remarkable improvement on how I felt and looked.  Again, I don't want to eliminate this category entirely, but I want to find moderation for the family.  We're very lucky, on the outskirts of Auckland there are gorgeous tiny goat milk farms that make their own cheeses and dairy products.  The goal is to avoid the hormones added at large, mainstream farms.  I prefer pasteurized milk to raw, though some believe the nutritional benefits to raw outweigh the threat of outbreaks (like Listeria) in milk.  I prefer to get my nutrition elsewhere and not pick up disease.  To each his own.

• Find a local source of organic cheeses and milk products
• Make our own yogurt from the local milk
• Read about and experiment with kefir
• Make our own nut milks, when cost efficient

image courtesy www.cheese-types.com


7.  Make a collection of whole foods recipes that look good.  Put them somewhere new, like a new binder, or a new folder on the computer.  If there are existing whole foods diet recipes the family loves, put them in a separate category of the collection for the recipes already tried. Out with the old, in with the new.  If there aren't any recipes yet, don't worry.  In this step we just want to create a place to be organized.

• Buy a recipe binder or other index type way of storing recipes
• If you prefer the computer, create a place to store new whole foods recipes
• Place existing whole foods recipes in the new collection

There are many more steps we could take to move toward whole foods, but this list is a good start for me and my family and where we are right now. 

How do you change the eating habits of a large family?

Which choices do you think should take priority and have the biggest impact on health?

Large Family Logistics - Clean Dinners Under $12 - Garlic Hummus Appetizer or Side Dish

Hummus is a great way to eat whole foods and take in more veggies.  Serve as a side dish, first course to dinner, or a substitution for meat in sandwiches and wraps.

The 8 oz. containers of store bought hummus are not even close to satisfying 12 people, relatively expensive, and in my opinion, have a plastic taste.  Like many things, you haven't really tried hummus until you've made it yourself.

Homemade hummus is so easy and costs about $2.50 for a huge bowlful.  If you were to reconstitute dried chickpeas, it would cost you only a fraction of that.  Here is an Anderson version of hummus that is fresh and loaded with nutrition.

Garlic Hummus Dip

2 cans chickpeas/garbanzo beans, or dried chickpeas, reconstituted
2 cloves fresh garlic
the juice of 1 lemon
2-4 TBSP flax oil, melted coconut oil, or olive oil
1 pinch cumin powder
1 pinch Himalayan salt


Put all the ingredients into a food processor or blender and pulse until smooth.  Serve with sliced carrot, celery, and cucumber.

Store remaining hummus in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 1 week.

Enjoy!

Anderson Boys Day Out - Hobbiton in Matamata, NZ

Large Family Logisitics - Finding Time For Each Child

"How do you find time for each child?"

I get this question a lot.  There's really no way to reply in 10 words or less, so I usually smile and say, "It's not easy!"

Let me share what we do and what feels successful to us right now.

 

 

If you're looking for ways to find more quality time for your child, I suggest making a list of goals for you and your child so that the time you spend together is as meaningful as possible.

 

What is it you are trying to achieve? 

What message do you want your child to get? 

What feelings do you want your child to walk away with?
What activity can be done to accomplish this?



 

 

Here are mine. 

 

 

*  I want my child to know they are loved by me and they're a valuable part of a supportive family.

 

*  I want to give them regular focused, positive attention.

 

*  I want to do age appropriate activities that will draw us closer together and develop life skills that lead to their independence.

 

*  I want to teach them choices to avoid and which choices will lead them ultimately to happiness, please Heavenly Father, and bring them success.

 

*  I want an established trust in me, Dad, and the Lord so when tough times come along, my child will know what source they can turn to for peace.

 

 

 

When I look at these goals, I realize that in order to accomplish this, it's going to take a lot more than just 'scheduling my child in' and 'weekend date nights' aren't going to cut it. If that is all you have to work with, then you do the best with what you can.  Persistent, life-long commitments to each kiddo are going to be required.  I've got to be devoted.  I've got to Un-Busy myself.

I'm not saying stop everything we're doing and give 100% of our time to our children from now on and lose our identity in meeting their every need.  Quite the opposite...kids benefit from an interesting, confident, and multi-faceted parent.  I am suggesting we involve our children in the different aspects of who we are, our interests, our work, and our favourite things and bring them with us on our journey in personal development.

1.  Incorporate your children in your daily rituals.  My kids are part of who I am and what I do every day.  They know my thoughts, my work, my hobbies and interests because they do them with me.  We interact as part of our daily rituals like getting the mail, cooking, and cleaning.  Its tricky if you are not the primary care giver, the child goes to daycare, or you have a nanny but it can be done.

2.  Find interests that you and your child both genuinely enjoy.  Do them on an on-going basis.  For toddlers, this can be as simple as a stroller ride every Monday morning to the corner store to get drinks.  My husband used to play card games with his friends before we were married.   Now he plays with the teenagers every Saturday night, and everyone loves it.  They never run out of things to talk about.  My kids like to help me with the photography and production of this blog.  We're learning together.

3.  Be available to listen to your child as much as humanly possible. I know way more about Pokémon than any adult female should.  Boys who love to talk to their Mom grow up to be men who love to talk to their Moms.  I hope my boys and girls always love to talk to their Mom.  I have to focus really hard sometimes to not do the mindless, "Uh-huh", but to ask questions as their talking.  After a good conversation, I can sense my child walks away with a satisfied feeling of just having got everything off their chest, and usually an excitement to move on to the next thing.  I don't even provide solutions necessarily, just a listening ear.

4.  Provide attention before they seek it. Give sincere, thoughtful compliments verbally or written so they can refer to it any time they need to.  A backrub, hand massage, or a special ice cream run for just the two of you makes a kiddo feel cherished.  I prefer these to be spontaneous.  When these events are scheduled, they seem forced, and completely against the point.  Look for these opportunities and take them!  I like this method, too, because I can do it when its convenient for me.

5.  Write down what they tell you.  Remember who and what is important to them, their fears, concerns, and ask them about them.  Never divulge their secrets.  Keep their confidence just like you would any other friend.  Now when you have a moment, you can ask the child about it.

6.  Be involved in their education.  Reading to them or going over homework together is great one-on-one time that shows them how important education is to you.  With the older kids, we like to read a book, then go see the movie.  It gives us a lot to talk about, whether we agree with actions the hero or villain took, what we would have done instead, or how could they have handled things differently.

7.  Serve your child with love. Doing things FOR your child can bring you closer.  Whenever the weather is poor, I surprise my kids by picking them up from school.  This simple act means a lot to them, as they have told me many times. 

8.  Remove your digital distractions.  Keep TV, video games, phones, iPods, etc. to a healthy level.  Remember you'll need human connections in order to achieve your goals.

9.  Set goals together.  Discuss your expectations for your child with them, and ask their expectations of themselves.  Goals like college, saving for a large item, or achieving their best at sports or school can let the child know you are their greatest supporter and that their life-long goals are reachable with you on their side.


Finding time for each child can be difficult in a large family, but a lot of the above items can be done when you have time or during other activities. 

What are your tricks to finding time for each child? 

What goals have you set with your kiddos?

Happy 4th Birthday Penelope - June 30, 2014

 

 

 

 

Large Family Logistics - Clean Dinners under $12 - Curried Lentil Soup

Curried Lentil Soup has been an Anderson favourite for almost a decade now.  When I tried it the first time, I was actually just making it for myself, I didn't think anyone in the family would eat it.  I ended up not getting any because they loved it so much and this recipe is THAT good.

Now we serve it with Naan flatbread, or serve it over jasmine rice on Day 2 when it has thickened up. 

This is one of the least expensive meals I make, often costing less than $5 if the pantry is well-stocked.  Not pictured, garlic, bell pepper, and stock.

You can use the crockpot for this recipe.  High for 4 hours, Low for 6 hours.  Stop peeking!  Its not done yet.

Curried Lentil Soup

WARNING:  Serves 10-12, recipe can be halved

1 yellow onion, chopped

 3 cloves garlic, minced

1 bell pepper (any color), chopped

1 cup celery, chopped

1 cup carrots, sliced

1 jalepeno, diced OPTIONAL

2 large potatoes, diced

12 cups water

12 chicken or vegetable stock

2 1/2 cups brown or red lentils

1 teaspoon garam masala

2 tablespoon curry powder (or turmeric)

1 teaspoon powdered ginger

1 1/2 teaspoons ground cardamom OPTIONAL

1/2 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper

1/2 teaspoon ground cumin

1 tablespoon olive oil

 salt and pepper to taste

1. In large pot, sauté the onions, peppers, celery, and carrots in a little olive oil for about 5 minutes. Add garlic, sauté 30 seconds.
2. Add the rest of the ingredients. Bring to a boil for a few minutes then simmer until the lentils and potatoes are soft.  (My lentils have never taken longer than 20 minutes to cook)
3. Puree half the soup in a food processor or blender. Return the pureed soup to the pot, stir and enjoy!